It is 8-9-2016, time to do a reflection on my past and make plans for the future.
3rd year medicine has been intense. In fact, it has been since 1st year. I've come so far without even thinking or looking back at what I have said or done. I have changed so much since high school and college years , both being better and being worse.
Obviously, well I am less attention seeking , which is good. Oh well, I find it disgusting when people argh, fish for likes on FB, rant or whatever, well I guess there is a reason for all that, we all need to grow up some day. I still rant sometimes, and some accidental rants on FB which is unwise, I guess this is the best platform for me to rant.
First up, there are the people who claim to be religious. This are the people who are the least religious of all. Gosh, really, "Oh, I'm a dignified christian, I do everything in the name of the Lord." but really, all they do it is for their own fame, and if you really look into their lives, they are a piece of shit. They talk bad about other people, they judge other people. Oh well, I am doing the same towards them too, but I never ever felt like I am the holiest one around. They go to bible studies every single week, they do stuff for their churches, but really, they never put it into practice, so what's the point.
Then there are the people in the student association I am serving in. I cannot stand people who never rock up to any events, but then rock up to "steal" positions that are rightfully ours, considering that well technically, I have done so much for this club, but they have only just arrived. I am not fussed about getting the position or not, but the one thing I am frustrated is the opportunities this club has lost the moment I am not in the committee #truestory, I am positive that with my contributions the club will fluorish considering that this year it has gone to shit.
And then there is the issue of unfairness in this world. Why isn't the irresponsible person getting the fate that she deserved, while the undeserving nice optimistic couple, gets a life of hell from just a motor vehicle accident? Why are all these happening?
To be honest, some medical students are the most hypocritical pieces of spoilt shit. We are taught to at least act to be empathic, when some of us really are not empathic at all. (doesn't apply to everyone). True that, we have a higher level of ego than everyone else, but I guess being in this field of work, there always naturally comes a sense of superiority over every other field because obviously your lives are in our hands.
Enough of ranting about other people, I am gonna rant about myself now. I feel like I can tolerate myself sometimes , given all the insults that I throw up to people sometimes, it almost comes naturally. It started out as a joke and friendly banter, but I feel like I have gone overboard, and I cannot really take it anymore, sometimes I feel like slapping myself for that. I have been really rash with my decisions, doing things without thinking of what will happen , which I guess I should change. I've been lazy as well, slacking so much, that I have been doing lesser work than I should be, which is really not so good because finals is coming .
The most disappointing thing is I can see other people getting help from other people voluntarily, while I strive to help others, I didn't get the same amount of help I should be given. I'm gonna put my trust in the committee this year and see what they can come up with this year to help out the preclinical years.
